So often, individuals say things like, “He drives me crazy”...or “She annoys me”...Have you ever stopped to think that YOU are choosing how you respond to these individuals? This article provides tips for working with individuals who you consider challenging. We put the focus back on you and your attitude for that is something you can do something about! That's empowerment!

It’s not what people do to us that hurt us; it’s our chosen response to what they do that hurts us.--Stephen Covey 

Yes, there are people who could easily be described as “difficult”, but since you can never change another person’s behavior, it’s important to think about how you are responding to that individual, for that is something that is within your control.  Below are some tips to consider when you find yourself confronted with someone who you feel is difficult:

• Don't take the individual’s behavior personally. What someone does is a reflection of what is happening with them—not you.
• Listen to their perspective and seek to understand. Instead of assuming you know why someone is being difficult, think about other possible interpretations. Shut off the noise in your head and really listen to what the individual is saying—put yourself in his or her shoes.
• Don't try to change them. You can only change your responses to their behavior. Take responsibility for your emotional reactions. You choose how you respond in every situation. Be the teacher in the situation and take the high road. Positive modeling can go along way and do a lot to influence the individual’s behavior.
• Ask yourself why it is that you are reacting to this individual negatively. Have they touched upon someone within you that you are insecure about? Many times, anger and annoyance are defense mechanisms and indicate that the stimulus has just touched upon an insecurity or a fear that we hold within ourselves.
• Check your perceptions. Did you actually hear what you thought you heard? Miscommunications occur because of misinterpretations. Clarify what you thought you heard to ensure that is what the individual intended.
• Ask yourself these questions--What makes this person “difficult” for me? Why am I reacting to him or her in this way? What could I do differently to influence this situation positively?  These are very proactive thoughts that will help to better the interactions with this individual.  Between everything that happens to us and our reaction is a space and in that space lies our ability to choose. With a positive mindset and outlook, “difficult” people and situations will be minimized and life will be much easier!
• Remember--your reaction is a reflection of what is happening with you. Empower yourself to look at the situation and the individual in a different way. You create all of your experiences based on how you choose to look at something!